Did you ever hire a contractor who promised your home renovations would be finished in two weeks? The job was complicated and you were delighted to hear it would be completed in less time than anticipated. Two weeks came and went, and finally after eight more weeks the project was done. The contractor was chagrined that he was so…
What’s Being Controlling All About?
Perhaps no behavior folks develop in their relationships is more annoying and potentially destructive than becoming controlling. Why do people do this? Clearly it’s far more unhelpful than helpful in any relationship. As a therapist I have encountered controlling tendencies in many individuals, and over time I’ve come to understand a consistent truth about controlling…
The Importance of Loving Yourself…
Although this is a familiar theme spoken about routinely I don’t know how many folks have really thought through how important loving yourself truly is. Actually being loved by yourself, not by other folks in your life, is perhaps an unusual idea for some individuals to consider. How do I do this, love myself? In the spirit of…
When is Anger a Problem?
Recently I was asked to be interviewed by Drake Williams, PhD regarding the challenge of handling personal anger, and when does anger become a problem we should notice and get concerned about. Dr. Drake is on the professional ministry staff of our church, Central Schwenkfelder Church, located in Worcester, PA. Enjoy the interview!
Are You “Trying Something New”?
I’ll bet most of us like “doing the usual”; settling in and doing what’s routine & predictable, treading well-worn pathways of behaviors. When something new comes along and challenges us to “expand our range” many of us balk and get a bit resistant…this is a reflection of our human tendency to resist change. But change…
Unexpected Trouble…
While visiting a longtime friend some time ago he showed me around his woodworking shop. I remarked about what great shape his tools were in and asked him how old they were. He replied that many of them had been in use 30-plus years. When I asked how he kept them so well, he smiled…
What Makes Marriage So Valuable?
For the past 45 years I have been invested in the health & quality of marriages. Many of my colleagues have asked me why? The answer is that being in a marriage often opens the doorway for a person to get to know himself so much better, to discover things about himself that otherwise might…
When You’re in Trouble, Don’t Withdraw!
As you might have registered by now, I’m all about noticing our common human reactions to events. So today, let’s take a look at our tendency to withdraw in the face of conflict, adversity, trouble, or painful situation. A small example: what do you do when you accidentally touch a burner on a hot stove? …
Are We Spending Enough Time With Each Other?
On the encouragement of a good friend, I began learning fly fishing in 2006. It soon became clear to me that without mastering casting, my chances of actually delivering the fly to the fish were minimal. There are many essential elements in fly fishing – tying knots, choosing the best fly, picking the right size…
Be Careful With That Reactivity!
Managing our reactivity in relationships is a crucially important matter that’s easy to overlook. Falling into being reactive with our partner means that we’re not being patient and truly listening – we’re most likely half-hearing and then jumping at what we think is being said. Much of the time becoming reactive (instead of being patient and responsive)…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 