When my children were young they sometimes mentioned feeling bored. Nowadays, so do some of my clients. I have never been able to help someone get rid of their boredom just by accepting it as such and trying to make it “go away”. But after much thinking, I do not think boredom is as simple as what it appears to be on the surface. I think there is something else in operation which is masquerading as boredom. I think it is held-back creative longings.
When a person finds himself wanting to do something new and unusual, something out of the ordinary for himself, then he enters into a state of creativity. Naturally we all have some fear about entering a place that is new, unexplored, and unfamiliar. That fear freezes us in our tracks. Almost at the same time we wish to move forward into the new region, we find ourselves in a sort of paralysis. The inner pressure to move forward is met by an opposing inner resistance. The net feeling of this inner collision, I think, we register as a sense of boredom.
What are we to do? The first rule is to know what we are feeling and appreciate it. We should never simply run roughshod over our feelings without acknowledging them. Just considering that I am at this curious “stuck point” is difficult enough. Be courageous and press a bit at your resistance to moving forward; make that phone call to the girl you met last week that you’ve been putting off, schedule that lunch with colleagues to discuss options for your future…..don’t just passively allow yourself to sit still in the neutral zone for too long. Moving ahead involves taking some chances, stretching yourself, and taking a new view on boredom as disguised wishes to move forward in life may be enough to energize the changes we’re seeking.
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 