Does It Get Any Better Than This?

I’m sure you’ve noticed some time ago that happiness is elusive. We have it one moment, we lose it the next. It’s a feeling, and feelings are fleeting. Ask people what they want most in life and they’ll tell you “to be happy”. Yet, there’s no denying that so many folks are not happy, and they’ll come right out and tell you so.

Quite simplistically, I would like to suggest that when it comes to the matter of happiness there are three feeling states we drift back and forth through:

• happy
• neutral
• unhappy

I know, not very profound, but I told you this was simplistic. But think about it – something pleasing comes our way and we feel happy, glad, energized, etc. We enjoy the moments, they last for awhile, and then they seem to diminish, to dissipate. Like the brilliant taste of a fruit pie that assaults our senses for a few bites and then the brilliance seems to fade a bit, moreso with each succeeding bite. Why is this? Because we’re getting used to it.

I can’t stress enough how important this is, the matter of getting used to it, also called normalizing to the current situation. Normalizing has a tremendous impact on whether I feel happy or not, satisfied with my life, so it’s important to understand and appreciate it. An easy way to grasp the concept is to consider that human beings automatically adjust to the prevailing status quo. Sometimes we do so rapidly, while other times we do so gradually.

Let’s paint a picture: we get a raise in pay at work. We’re delighted, so grateful, pleased in our accomplishments and the recognition of same. We’re basking in the euphoria for a week or two. But a month goes by and are we still euphoric? No…we’re used to our raise. We’ve normalized to our new situation. We’ve integrated the changes into ourselves.

When we got news of the raise, we were happy. Are we still that kind of happy? No. We’ve drifted into kind of a neutral state regarding our raise. Normalizing brings about the feeling state of neutral. We’re certainly not unhappy. But we’re not happy like we first were when we got word of our raise.

In light of all this, here’s the big question: should we be upset at how quickly our happiness fades when a good thing happens to us?

I don’t think so. I think we should strive to accept the way the world is, and the ways we are as human beings. Let’s not swim against the current if we don’t have to. Let’s keep a grip on our humility and recognize we’re neither all-knowing or all-powerful. But I do have a suggestion that you might find helpful when it comes to dealing with that feeling of “I was so happy last week; where did it go?”

I’ve noticed a tendency is us to get a good thing and then immediately start to want more. Even John D. Rockefeller, when asked how much money did he need, answered “just a little more than I have now”. It’s as though what we have right now isn’t enough! I remember skiing in Colorado some time ago on the annual family trip out west. I was skiing with my father, he and I came over a rise and stopped at the head of a large glade. It was perfect – sun shining over our shoulders, snow glinting like diamonds, mountains in the background. Dad said to me “this is as good as it gets”. Those words hit me like a thunderclap – this is it…stop looking for more…embrace what you have now. For me, this is the antidote for that sense of unhappiness and chronically wanting more…always thinking “maybe just around the next bend I’ll be happy”.

Soooo – where are you with feeling satisfied in life?…