My parents used to talk about how accountability was one of the hallmarks of maturity. They made a key point of stressing that becoming accountable was something that was developed over time; it didn’t “just happen” in a person’s life, because it involved a gradual evolution from living a childlike existence into one of seeing the importance of being answerable for one’s attitudes and actions. I often thought them old-fashioned and stodgy. But they were right.
Our oldest daughter, who lives in northern Massachusetts with her husband and soon-to-be-born little girl reminded me that:
“…there are two sides to accountability: accountability to others so that we function well in a connected and communal world, and accountability to self, because when we act and speak in accordance with what we value and believe, we feel good”.
Nowadays it’s more important than ever to have accountability be a cornerstone of one’s life. You see, we’re all more connected than ever…and this is what makes the difference. The more one is detached from others, then the more that person only has to be accountable to self. But presently individuals are much more part of a great human community, whether we’re ready for it or not. With the click of a mouse we can interact with people on other continents. What happens business-wise in China affects us here in the USA promptly and dramatically. Social media has put us in touch with each other’s ideas, life dramas, issues and events like never before. We can share impressions and personal information easily and instantly. Just consider it, and consider also then the responsibility and accountability which needs to go along with our new development. What we do and say matters, and counts, and sometime hurts…
Personally, I think a great case can be made for our nation being in the grips of a tsunami of non-accountability. It seems that there is an increasing tendency for folks to do and say whatever pleases them, and then seem surprised when called to be acountable for their actions. The “affluenza teen” headlined again recently in the news, the Volkswagen scandal involving colossal emissions deception, organized cheating on SAT tests, and last but not least, our political candidates on live TV excoriating each other, acting like adolescents hurling insults at each other…do we really want ANY of them as national leaders? Are any of them truly accountable for what they say, for what they do? Are they good models for us, or for our children? Think about it…
This is not meant to be a lecture on the woes of our nation or another scolding for misbehaving; it’s really all about being mature, responsible, and accountable. Without these foundational pieces in place we’re jeopardizing what we build on top of them. Do we think about what we say and do? Do we consider the effects we’re having on other people? We need to have this kind of consciousness so we can put limits on ourselves, and in the process safeguard ourselves and the folks we’re connected to. In closing, let me share with you a little poem a friend of mine who owned a crabbing operation in Maryland used to recite each year when we got together at our hunting camp in northern Pennsylvania:
…Be careful with the words you say,
keep them soft and sweet…
…For you never know from day to day,
which ones you’ll have to eat…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 