Did You Know Pornography Can Hurt You?

The most recent Time Magazine edition of 4-11-2016 surprised me. No, let me say that over again – shocked me! As a therapist who deals with upsetting events that come along in married life, intrusions that have negative effects on the couple, and violations of the trust that absolutely needs to exist between the partners for the relationship to be reliable and durable, I’ve known for a long time that pornography is a scourge to the emotional health of a relationship. What shocked me is now finding out that pornography has negative physical effects on the viewer as well!

In Belinda Luscombe’s illuminating and well-written article, she details how pornography is a pathway to erectile dysfunction in men and an inability to achieve arousal when a real flesh-and-blood woman is substituted for the pornographic images. I challenge my readers – did you know that?

So, let’s think this one through…something that one initially might dabble in with the goal in mind of increasing one’s state of emotional/sexual arousal winds up having the exact opposite effect! That’s sort of like spending frivolously with a credit card and feeling terrific while you’re doing it…only to have the bottom drop out when the reality of how much in debt you’ve made yourself! Overspending with a credit card and later falling into a depression is most likely a predictable outcome; however, pornography making impossible normal human-to-human arousal is something I doubt anyone would anticipate.

How to get out of this trap once one has fallen into it? The short answer is “with difficulty”. Cessation of the pornographic input is mandatory as is psychotherapeutic intervention…because this is an addictive phenomenon. As with all addictive substances, pornography gradually becomes increasingly primary in the individual’s life until it crowds out other healthier, more reasonable aspects of life, such as socializing, work, and maintaining everyday relationships. As a young friend of mine told me recently, “I knew I was in trouble when my girlfriend wanted to have sex and I didn’t…I wanted to look at porn”. If this is where you find yourself, be honest with yourself about the seriousness of your situation, and then realize there IS a way out…