My friends all marvel at my workshop out in the garage. The tools are hanging on the pegboard, the work surface is swept clean. The trash can is partially filled but not overflowing. The window I look out, opening onto the driveway, has a few cobwebs in the corners but the glass is clean and affords easy vision. From there I can easily see the young deer in the upper cornfield and the two foxes sitting under the walnut trees, like I did yesterday morning. When I get into my car each morning to leave for the office, I get to enjoy this scene. How come? One little word tells it all: Consistency. Think about it…I’ll get back to it in a moment.
We live in a complicated, challenging world…everyone of us does. However, no matter what your home is like, no matter how simple or how small your space is, you can optimize it by designing and maintaining a personal system of managing things. It’s all about a little self-discipline…and really, it doesn’t take much to make a big difference. For instance, start with the idea of putting things away. Make a deal with yourself to put things away when you use them during the next week. See how it goes.
What you want to develop is some consistency. Consistency is a cousin to reliability, also to predictability. When we have these three in our lives we have safety, and when we have safety we can extend ourselves and have some adventures. Adventures involve courage and exploration, and the more we engage with the world courageously the more we grow and define ourselves. See where I’m going with all this? You can help yourself evolve creatively as you develop more and more consistency.
By the way, all the therapy in the world won’t help you if you don’t put it to work. Keep in mind the “three A’s” of moving forward in life:
- Awareness
- Assessments
- Action
I know many folks who have superb awareness and can make accurate assessments of themselves and the situations that confront them, but without putting the “third A” into daily operation – action – they don’t move forward in life. What can help us do that? Developing some consistency, which will mean you can trust yourself.
So, do your best for a week putting the tools away. Do the dishes right after the meal. Get the car washed the next day after the rain storm. Don’t just leave the laundry in the basket; put it away. Don’t forget to water the plants on the deck every day. Open the mail every day when it comes in, take out the bills that arrive and pay them that evening, and recycle all that unnecessary paper. Fill up the birdfeeder and don’t leave it empty for days. Answer all those phone messages and delete them from your voicemail box…there’s nothing more annoying than a full voicemail box that you can’t leave an important message for someone in. Gradually you’ll become more consistent in how you run your life. And then you’ll transform to someone who is living his/her life rather than just reacting to it.
In closing, let me say I’m thinking of the Adirondacks a short while ago when my friend Jim and I had trekked into a remote deer hunting camp in the summer to fish for brook trout. The idea was to carry the canoe to the large pond above the beaver dam where the brookies were plentiful and hungry. We’d just finished a breakfast of bacon and eggs prepared over the camp stove. The dirty dishes were staring at us, reminding us of our longtime guideline never to leave undone dishes in the camp before leaving for the day. Almost simultaneously, Jim and I both said “let’s get these dishes done so we can get out of here and go fishing!” Notice the sequencing – dishes first, adventure next – setting the stage for a successful day.
So, what do you have to do today so you can “get out of here and go fishing”?…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 