Are You “Keeping Track Of Yourself”?

Sometimes our lives just plain get away from us. Events occur that we haven’t planned for, we volunteer for obligations we later wish we hadn’t, work assignments come along that tax our energies and self-confidence, unforeseen challenges with our families crop up that simply have to be addressed, etc. We’ve all been there; there’s no avoiding it. At times, life simply has a way of laughing at our carefully constructed plans for ourselves.

The result of this might be that one afternoon we notice we still haven’t shaken that upset mood we woke up with in the morning. At that point we ask ourselves, “what’s the matter with me?” Nothing in particular comes to your mind; you come up blank in your self-questioning. Hmmm…now this is getting annoying…I can’t imagine any particular reason for my dark mood. Truly, this is a dilemma – you’re gripped by a dark mood and can’t figure out why!

It might shed a little light on the situation to note if you’ve been tracking yourself, keeping an eye on the stressors you’ve been living with, and staying conscious of your moods on a daily basis. Most of us don’t; we simply live from day to day, “hitting the pitches that life throws at us” without much reflection on the ongoing process of our lives. What happens so often is that we absorb a certain amount of life stress without feeling it or even intellectually registering it, until we reach a “critical mass point” where the energy contained in the stressors overtakes our usual abilities to defend against them by automatically dismissing them or diminishing them. At that point we descend into an unhappy mood, or perhaps develop a nagging backache that won’t go away. What’s happening then is effect of the stressors is showing either in emotional ways or manifesting in physical symptoms. Either way, the impact on us can be quite pronounced.

So what can we do about this to help ourselves? The answer is not all that difficult – develop a habit of observing yourself as you go through the week. Take an inventory of the challenges you have faced during the previous months and if they are ongoing, register them as such. Sometimes we’re faced with immediate matters that resolve in a few days, while often we have more longterm challenges that will be with us for months, if not longer. Note the pressures of life that you’re living with…it may surprise you to recognize the amount of tension many of us live with routinely.

So, what might we do to keep our balance every day, and stay current with ourselves?

• practice mindfulness about the stressors you’re dealing with on an everyday basis.
• take note of how you’re feeling several times a day and particularly when heading home after work.
• share with your significant others how you are emotionally and what’s happening of significance with you. Don’t wait for them to ask you – YOU TELL THEM!

The keys in this prescription are mindfulness and sharing. I think what you’ll find, with time and practice, that you’ll graduate from wandering around in a bad mood on a Saturday morning wondering “what happened to me this week to land me in this negative space?” to mentioning to your partner over breakfast “gee, I think a bike ride would be good for me this morning after worrying about dad’s declining health issues plus those unexpected challenges at work that came up mid-week. I’ll bet I’ll be a lot more fun to be with after getting a little break”.

Think about it! Experiment with my suggestions and see where they take you. Make it your goal to “keep track of yourself” through the upcoming holiday season, and see what kind of reaction you get from family and friends. You may find their inputs interesting!