It’s not easy to remain vulnerable and open when the person you love is upset with you. When confronted with an angry partner, most of us will tend to withdraw. Think about it; it’s natural to pull back, to want to retreat to a less challenging place. But how much good does this do us?…
Author: Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div., LMFT
About Recognizing and Accepting the Feelings of Your Partner…
Everybody has feelings, more or less constantly, all day long. Much of the time we don’t share our emotional inner life, but when we do, it’s important to be received, acknowledged and appreciated for what we’re feeling. Since feelings so often are the “language of the soul”, if we want to develop a soulmate relationship…
Let’s talk about Listening and Hearing…
Ever drive in your car with the radio on and “listen” to the news? Most of us do everyday. However, if you had to take a quiz on the news you just heard, I think you’d be surprised at how little you actually integrated into memory. During listening we have to register what…
When partners quarrel with each other…
Every pair of partners will quarrel from time to time. There’s just no way around it. Misunderstandings will happen, feelings will get hurt, we’ll say things to each other we later wish we hadn’t….. How to settle these inevitable disputes? How can we best move through the upset, the resentments, so we…
How should we be talking to each other?
Therapists are constantly advising couples to communicate more, communicate more clearly with each other. In general that’s good advice, but what should they be communicating about in particular? Some marriages are quiet affairs with not much speaking going on between the partners. In this case, a greater volume of shared material might be a good…
One Goal of Parenting…
So naturally now that we’ve talked about letting go we can slide into a short comment on a primary goal of parenting, which is to raise your kids up so they leave you. Period. The idea is to put yourself out of business. Unfortunately many folks would like to hang onto their children, and keep…
A Request To My Readers…
We can all do a better job when we have some feedback. So….are you finding these posts helpful to your lives? Are they relevant? Interesting? Thought provoking? Are there issues and topics you’d like me to address? I would value your comments, so feel free to write them!
The Challenge of Truly Being Authentic…
Some people cultivate being “pretenders” much of their lives. How they present themselves as on the outside doesn’t equal who they are on the inside. Sometimes we see this in businessmen who are not very successful but like to appear so. “$600.00 Armani suits with a $100.00 Waterman pen in his pocket, but…
A New Perspective on Boredom…
When my children were young they sometimes mentioned feeling bored. Nowadays, so do some of my clients. I have never been able to help someone get rid of their boredom just by accepting it as such and trying to make it “go away”. But after much thinking, I do not think boredom is as simple as…
When is an apology not really an apology?
Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes, regardless of how careful we are, regardless of how much we care about those people who are close to us. If we’re truly being authentic, being ourselves, there’s no way we can avoid periodically colliding with each other. It’s just a part of being…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 