It’s our national preoccupation; I’m certain of it. Everyone wants more sex in their lives…better sex. I receive free promotional magazines in the mail routinely – GQ, The Atlantic, Allure – which contain article after article about sex, how to attract women, how to have more exciting sex, etc. Full of suggestions about clothes, music,…
Author: Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div., LMFT
The Importance of Just Plain Being Honest…
Has it ever occurred to you how much our contemporary world encourages us to misrepresent the truth? We call it a variety of things such as “political expediency”, “embellishment”, “white lies”, “half-truths”, etc. However we choose to spin it, in the final analysis we have to say it’s simply not telling the truth. It’s descending…
Are You Good At Receiving Compliments?
It never ceases to surprise me how many folks have a hard time taking a compliment. Is it easy for you? If so, good for you – you’re in the minority! Why does taking a compliment make people squirm? What does it require of us to take a compliment? Were you taught by your parents…
Perfectionist? How’s That Working For You?
Let’s be frank about it – does anyone really think that perfectionism is truly a possibility on this earthly plane? I doubt it. But regardless of that, people have and will continue to pour energy into “trying to be perfect” every day. Why do we do this? I think it stems from a deep-rooted feeling…
Just Listen, Don’t Try To Fix Me!
How many times have you just wanted to have someone close to you listen to where you find yourself in your life, and the person responded by trying to “fix” you? What results is a less-than-helpful experience that winds up with everyone feeling frustrated. So how can we keep from sliding into this space? When…
“Stay In Your Own Lane”…
I confess. Sometimes I watch “Celebrity Apprentice”. Yes, I know it’s just superficial entertainment, but a few weeks ago I actually learned something from it. When asked what was the secret to her success in getting “hired” and winning “Celebrity Apprentice”, Leeza Gibbons said “I stayed in my own lane and didn’t get involved in…
If I Had a Different Mate, Would My Problems be Over?…
As a friend of mine once said, “when you’re in pain, lots of things start to look like aspirin”. What my friend was alluding to is that for every life dilemma there are good solutions and options that masquerade as solution. Take the matter of choosing to divorce; many people think “If I am not…
Is This a Marriage Problem or a Me Problem?
Often in relationships partners get into struggles with each other and someone will say, “that’s your problem, not mine”. What this commonly means is that what bothers the one does not bother the other. It would probably be clearer and more empathetic to say, “I understand that so-and-so bothers you, and although I’m not particularly…
Maybe It’s About Commitment…
Often in my posts I mention marriage instead of “significant relationship”, and in most cases what’s said about marriage also applies to the dynamics of any significant relationship. But how are they different? Although it’s certainly not the only feature, perhaps it has to do with varying levels of commitment. I have met many couples…
What’s Causing My Depression?
Depression can be a very tough thing to tolerate, and almost eveyone gets depressed from time to time during their lives. Life is complicated, and there’s no way we can go through it without getting bruised and shaken up during challenging times. To get reactively depressed when a significant and emotionally upsetting event occurs is…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 