The world we live in now is vastly different than the one I grew up in. I remember front doors left unlocked, car keys remaining in the ignition every night, and a broad attitude of safety and trust throughout our community. A little while ago a friend of mine sold his farmhouse, and when the…
Narcissism…How Do We Understand It?
Perhaps no condition of human life is as difficult to manage as narcissism. On one end of the spectrum, becoming too selfless has it’s drawbacks, but the opposite end of the spectrum is also filled with pitfalls. It’s a good thing to be concerned about self…but where should we draw the line when it comes…
Being Judgmental…Is There Always Insecurity Behind It?
Everyone’s been in situations where they felt judged by others; this has to be a common life experience. Clearly, becoming judgmental is not a positive thing – it doesn’t join people, it divides them. Why would someone let themselves develop an interpersonal attitude guaranteed to cause trouble in relationships? I think it’s all about an…
Do You Compare Yourself To Others? The Pros and Cons…
In the best of all possible worlds, we’d learn from a young age to simply be ourselves, appreciate our own talents and assets, know and respect our limitations, and enjoy life one day at a time. However, I’m describing an ideal environment, and no one I’ve ever met has been fortunate enough to have this…
What’s Your Theme For The Year?
Have you ever created an annual theme for yourself that strategically aims your energy and consciousness in a particular direction? Think about it! In our world of myriad distractions something like following a personal theme a focus can be very helpful! Many major corporations use annual themes to define their missions: Nike says “Just Do…
Are You Bothered By Fearfulness Every Day?
Surveys have indicated over and over again that many folks live every day with significant levels of fearfulness in their lives. The fears reported are not necessarily distinct fears of some traumatic event happening, but instead what people call “feelings of dread”. They range from mild feelings of forboding to mid-range feelings of danger; let’s say from…
When Should We Go For Therapy?
Life is so often not what we expect – it can be rich and rewarding but also at times challenging and disappointing. Regardless of our family & friends supporting us, we sometimes need professional consultation to help us navigate the difficult pathways that face us. When should we reach out for that professional help? Let…
Do You Balance Initiating and Responding?
Picture this: you go to a dinner party and see an old friend you haven’t seen in months. You approach him and shake his hand, greeting him, “Hi Tom”. What then? Do you ask “how’ve you been?” Or do you wait for him to ask “how’ve you been?” Interesting question, eh? Do you initiate or…
Being Self-Referential – How To Ruin a Relationship!
Imagine this…You meet with a friend you haven’t seen for some time and you’re looking forward to catching up with him. As you settle into the conversation, you begin to notice the interaction shifting toward being “all about him” and not much about what you have to share. You try to re-emphasize events that have…
Do You Creatively Disengage?
Most of the time we talk about the importance of quality connections…but this time let’s talk about the opposite – intentional disengagement. A little over a year ago I wrote about the positive aspects of taking time to be contemplative, and temporarily detaching from our outer world is a pathway to get there. How do…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 