I read somewhere awhile ago that disappointment is always a function of expectations. I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking for some “near-absolutes” that can help guide me through life, and I think this insight is one of them. And what series of events are more expectation-laden than the Holidays? Just like the…
Beware of “Jumping to Solution”…
We live in an age where immediate gratification has become the norm. No longer do we have to wait long for answers to our concerns, our questions about life’s many issues, our wishes for material things. The psychology of the credit card is fascinating – here we have a small piece of plastic with seemingly…
Are Your Holidays Complicated?
Although the holidays can be a wonderful opportunity to get together with relatives and friends, the interactions between family members can become trying at times. Why is this? There are lots of reasons…folks who haven’t seen each other all year, who are out of touch with developments in each other’s lives, are supposed to connect…
Do You Define Yourself?
About 20 or so years ago the phrase “laid back” came into vogue. Roughly speaking, it denotes the opposite of “uptight”…someone who goes with the flow, is easily willing to be conciliatory, and would rather fit in than take a stand, especially if doing so ran the risk of upsetting someone. Sounds pretty admirable, right?…
Is your Work a Reflection of Who You Are at the Inner Level?
This might sound like a strange question, but it’s a really important one to consider as we go along in life. To fill it out a bit, I’m sure we all know folks who dislike their work, are bored with it, or feel unfulfilled by it. Going along like this day after day can be…
Help, I’m Disorganized, Please Make Up for my Shortcomings!
Not all married folks have identical abilities to handle life’s many tasks and challenges. Some are good at being on time, being properly dressed for the occasion, and know when to head home after the event. Others tend to show up late routinely, underdress for the occasion, and are always the last to leave the…
Are You Holding onto Old, Worn-out Ideas About Yourself?
Have you ever gone through period where you’ve been possessed by a mood of dissatisfaction and restlessness, even though many aspects of your life are “just fine, thank you”? You wonder, “what’s this about?”, you let a little time pass, and gradually the mood dissipates like waves on the shore receding back into the ocean……
“Hi honey, how was your day?” Is this really the right question?…
“He just doesn’t share his feelings with me” is a common complaint wives have about their husbands. Although frustrating for the women, it’s often bewildering for the men, who have no wish at all to be upsetting to their wives. Let’s approach this age-old dilemma with a new perspective: let’s clarify the question. Nobody talks…
The Problem with Being Controlling…
Many people I’ve talked with over the years rather cheerfully admit admit “yes, I’m a control freak”. When we think about it, that’s not such a good label to put on yourself. In most cases, it would be better if the person were concerned about being controlling rather than defending it. We have a choice…
Understanding the Point of View of Your Partner…
Eyewitnesses to a car crash routinely report differing accounts of what happened. How can this be? Even onlookers standing near each other often relate differing opinions on what happened. The answer lies in the fact that each of us has particular points of view, depending on a variety of factors. Partners often have differing points…
Chase E. Kneeland, M.Div. LMFT 