Are You Caught By Fear-Based Thinking?

Simply speaking, it might be said that there are two different ways to see the world:

• as a wonderful place of endless opportunities,

OR

• as a challenging place with lots of difficulties to overcome.

I’m sure you can see these are almost polar opposite ways of experiencing the world, but depending on your point of view, life in general can be either exciting or daunting.

So much of this has to do, of course, with feeling secure in your own life. It’s normal to feel some amount of anxiety, or life tension as I call it, as we go through our day-to-day routines. When it comes to life tension and how much is too much, I always ask “is it impacting your general functioning?” You see, it’s always a matter of extent. Are you getting preoccupied, second-guessing yourself, finding yourself procrastinating at tasks you usually move right along in? Are you gradually slipping into more and more fear-based thinking? And what’s the difference between reasonable and cautious thinking and fear-based thinking? Do you make decisions on the basis of moving toward something or trying to avoid something? We could also call this positive-orientation thinking vs. negative-orientation thinking.

Let’s have an example: during the weekends I try to adhere to a simple guideline when it comes to social events – one event per day. Why? Because I want to put all my energies into relating to the folks we’re visiting with that day. See the positive orientation? I could have thought – “because I don’t want to get overwhelmed and tired out”. See the negative orientation in that thought? It’s pretty subtle, right?  You see, I’ve noticed over the years that packing too many events into a weekend day sets the stage for not having the energy to enjoy the events that happen in the latter part of the day.

Notice when it comes to upcoming events if you are positively anticipating them or just a bit dreading them. Maybe the word dread is a bit too strong, but I think you know what I mean. Do you think about the fun the event will bring, or do you think about the hassles and potential complications that might come with the event? I think we’re describing the difference between folks who fall into chronic worry vs. folks who are much more light-hearted and positive about the way life will work out as we go along day-to-day. The chronic worriers will defend themselves by saying they’re just being realistic, while the light-hearted folks seem to have more enjoyment through life’s experiences. Both sides have merit in their positions, but I want us to notice which we tend to side with. So much in life has to do with balance, and although none of us can maintain perfect balance all the time, it’s important to stop and observe oneself. So….where are you on the continuum of positive orientation vs. negative orientation?